Energetic Investment – Your Self-Worth is Not Currency
By Karen McKinnon – July 20, 2020 – Audio Version – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2yqxg9Rw3Y
Have you ever thought, “Once I have, ____________, THEN I will feel, ______________.”
This is how you run and chase inside. This is a way you rush inside. This is how you convince yourself you can’t be here, you should be there. This is how you feel unsafe, not okay, scared, confused, aka threatened by the present moment. This way, you end up not actually spending time “here”, because you are trying to be, “there”. But the problem with that is, you can’t actually be somewhere other than where you are. So what happens is, it feels like a split inside where you try to run from yourself. This is a great way to activate your, “Fight or Flight” response. You have convinced yourself there is danger inside you in the present moment, and you are safer over there in the future or the past. This shapes the conditions you make to sacrifice your life force energy in exchange for your safety. Read that last sentence again.
There are so many different ways to create, give, have, and receive. You are creating all the time. To be alive is to create. Creation is energy and we are all energy. Belief is part of the core of how we interact and create with life. Belief goes beyond thought. Belief has anchored in your body and moves you, gives you feelings and you make choices around this. Beliefs are created, and they evolve all the time, redefining what is true and what is more true now, now that you’ve learned and grown. What conditions do you have that create your own personal brand of life transaction?
I used to believe that if I felt too much enjoyment, (wtf is too much enjoyment?), I was being irresponsible and I couldn’t move forward in my life. I believed that, in order to create my life and feel safe, I had to work so hard, not waste time, and be serious. The embodied belief was, “If I’m not doing it all myself, then I’m not going to get what I need”. Thank goodness for body wisdom saying, “Nope, there is not enough nourishment for me, there is another way. Find it.” Let’s even pretend for a moment that the controlling, really hard work approach works somewhat and gets you somewhere. Is that how you want to live day in and day out, to get something or be somewhere?
Reaching your goal is NOT the only way for you to feel nourished and satisfied. Thank goodness. Your day to day lifestyle will nourish and satisfy you, and it will, whether you reach your exact goal or not.
Challenge how you create in your life. The reason why you might not, may be because if a way you’ve been creating, (living) even though it doesn’t feel very good, (day in day out, year after year) gets you some semblance of what you want, you keep doing it because it feels safer and you can rely on it giving you something. You convince yourself that it kind of makes sense, because it kind of does, because if you are starving you’ll take crumbs right? Investment exists on the level of energy = Energetic Investment.
Are you sacrificing a part of who you are to get something in return? You are in energetic debt if you are operating from a place of owing life something or life owing you something. You may feel like you owe life something, so you only receive (if at all) some of what you put out. You may have your own personal conditions of what you give to life to determine what you will accept back, should get back and HOW you will accept it. Over-givers sacrifice self-worth to be alive. In order to be alive, you need to owe. In order to be alive and receiving (if at all) you need to be exhausted and starving. If you’re not exhausted and starving, if you are receiving, you feel guilty. Because you want to be a good person, you feel the bad thing you think you’ve done, which is receiving, and you do the good thing, and pay back what you’ve taken. There are countless unique personal nuances to this owing and energetic currency. What are your conditions?
Living From Nourishment
The way you live while you are trying to reach your goals, is your life. The way you interact with life, aka create, can be depleting or nourishing in many different ways. Your energetic investment can feel nourishing and give back to you. That doesn’t mean it’s not challenging, or scary etc, but at some level, you can feel your investment in you, giving you something that feeds you, not starves you.
Invest in yourself like you are a garden. You can’t bargain with plants to grow, you don’t sign a contract for them to grow. You don’t skip drinking water for yourself for the day and give your water to the plants. Instead, you tune into the plants, learn about them, watch them and feed them water, sunshine, and soil they need, you care about them. You are the garden and the gardener. When you give to yourself in this way, you get back, you don’t lose something.
Energy, feelings and emotions are food for your soul. You don’t eat only when you eat a sandwich. You eat when you watch TV, listen to music, talk to people, and talk to yourself. All stimulation and energy to any of your senses are food of some kind. I’m talking about giving yourself the nourishing food, investing in yourself in a way that doesn’t take from you but sustains you.
Beginning dialogue around this deep structure of belief in your cells, is a wonderful way to begin to become aware of your personal beliefs to then begin exploring new possibilities for new core beliefs for you to nurture and grow. This can help you with feeling half-alive to feeling fully alive. Epigenetics is the ability to turn on and off certain genetic switches. Brain plasticity is your brain re-wiring neural pathways. Thought influences energy, belief and cellular structure. Dr. Emoto’s work is a great example of how words are energy and form the shape of water. You are mostly water. Actually, quantum physics states you are mostly space as there is more space between your cells than cells. Genetic, cellular, neurological, physical and energetic change happens.
Unyielding Love in the Unknown and The Birth of Possibility
As an example, love would be an alternative investment. You could invest in the belief that you are lovable, loved, loving and worthy as you are, to receive love, and to give and receive from life. Allow yourself to explore what this feels like, looks like, sounds like and allow yourself to put this into action. How might some of your choices look different if you did? I invite you to move this concept into a personal exploration. Make this personal, instead of philosophizing in the realm of concept and contrasting concepts against each other in your mind. Bring these energy concepts into your personal experience to engage with the energy in a way that gives you feedback that has meaning for you. Spiritual concepts are a start and are spiritual food, but they don’t feed your human body and soul alone.
Feel what it’s like to act from the belief that you don’t owe life, and life doesn’t owe you. (If this is a bit too general and you are having difficulty bringing to life the concept of owing, lack and sacrifice , bring people into the mix. Who in your life do you owe something? Who do you feel owes you something? Things just got real. Great! Now you can feel the energy.) Feel what it’s like to re-frame a new way of interacting. If it were true that you don’t owe something and aren’t due something, then what? How do you and life communicate? What new possibilities could possibly exist for you? How could you have something, receive something or give something?
It’s okay to be in the space of unknown and new. This space is ripe with possibility. Don’t be so quick to force yourself out of this space, as it has much to give you. Let it reveal something to you. This is where new energy is born and can come to you; it is vital in the process of creating. This dark space of unknown is a birthing space where nourishing energy, spirituality, concept, idea, inspiration, and thought can be born into you as a felt experience for you to be alive with.
Your Presence Feeds You
When you stay with yourself instead of splitting, or running from the present moment and thus from yourself, you can more deeply connect with you. Possibilities open up that were always there but you now have access to. The essence of your being, the pleasure of being alive, your authenticity, your love, your love of life, your love for yourself will begin to feed you. You will begin to interact and create from a place of emanating. You being to grow and feel your worth. Your subconscious and conscious choices of how you treat yourself evolve into an embodied felt experience. You feel how valuable your being-ness is, and how much nourishment you feel from who you are and how you are, not just what you have or where you are in your life. Read that last sentence again.
All this because you continually invest in your new belief and ask this new energy behind your belief to invest in you. You give it the physicality to come down into you, and you become the container that is getting used to having and holding this energy for it to integrate in you to alchemize inside you. You are creating an environment and home inside of you for this new energy to visit and then stay.
Never underestimate the power your presence has on the quality of your life. You are presence. What is lucky enough to have your attention? Meditation and meditative skills, help you weather your transitions and what is possible for you. Meditation is a fundamental life support. Meditation is a practice in presence.
Say Yes to More – Let the Mystery of Life Lead You
I know you can handle so much and are incredibly resilient but there is so much more for you than just getting by inside. Feelings of deep self-worth, ease, peace, love, joy, reverence, sacredness and more, is possible for you.
Once you say yes to new energy, your life force and life begin to interact in a new way. You don’t have to know everything, and how it all works, you just have to know your answer, is yes. Your life does not require you to be perfect. Make a decision to say yes. Commit to your yes. Just bring your yes. You are sacred, you are stunningly beautiful, and you are worth it.